Top 30+ Funny Quotes, Image, Shayari, WhatsApp Status, Wallpaper, Image

Top 30+ Funny Quotes

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In today’s busy life, tension remains in everyone’s mind, whether it is home tension or work tension and there is a lot of stress on the head due to which the whole day is spoiled, for this your mood is right. Read funny quotes to do that will reduce your sari tension

Bringing a smile to someone who has a bad mood can be an excellent surprise in the midst of our busy lives, which sometimes prevents us from leading a stress-free life. With that in mind, we’ve made it our mission to create some great funny quotes for cards so that you can share them with your family and friends.

Funny Quotes With Image

1. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.”

2. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”

3. “Ned, I would love to stand here and talk with you—but I’m not going to.”

4. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

5. “Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.”

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6. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”

7. “I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”

8. “There’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.”

9. “There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”

10. “Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.”

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11. “There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.”

12. “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”

13. “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.”

14. “I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”

15. “What do you mean, he don’t eat no meat? That’s okay, that’s okay. I make lamb.”

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16. “I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.”

17. “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.”

18. “I can’t end my messages with Love, Shaq because the B-52s ruined that for me.”

19. “My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.”

20. “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”

funny quotes for girls21. “The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.”

22. “Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.”

23. “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”

24. “Why yes, I can carry on a conversation made up entirely of movie quotes.”

25. “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.”

Funny Quotes Status

26. “I feel like I should clean the house, so I’m going to lay down and nap until that feeling passes.”

27. “Lazy is a very strong word. I like to call it #selective participation”

28. “Feeling so tired that I think I might have that Chinese disease called Dragon Ass.”

29. “My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity… I said nope, we all seem to enjoy it”

30. “I’m not fat, god gave me airbags cause I’m precious.”

31. “I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.”

32. “There’s no better feeling than going to bed at night and not having to set an alarm for tomorrow morning.”
33. “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.”

34. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

35. “When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield.”